***A lesson for ADHD Entrepreneurs from the most relentless ADHD dog ever.***
Recently, my husband and I spent some time with our good friends that we don't get to see as much as we would like. You know the case- busy life getting in the way etc.
We had a great time catching up, and the kids had fun playing with all the technology- it was like a cyclone of headphones and smack-talking from four pre-teen boys who were busy eating pizza and ice cream, and playing the VR while Marvel movies boomed in the background...
Our friends brought with them their yellow Labrador-hound mix that adopted them about a year ago- when he captured their hearts with his adorable face- after he broke into their fenced-in yard and made his way into their house via the dog-door. (Should have been the first warning of what was to come, but hindsight is 20/20.)
While he definitely captures hearts with his sweet nature, he also hijacks happiness with his all-over-the-place energy and his self-serving-behavior.
He is a wanderer, a traveler, an EXPLORER- who cannot be contained- no matter the measures taken to fence him in. Always pacing, or following around one of the other two dogs they have, or making his round to check on the humans in the home, you can see the ADHD brain at work when you watch him in action.
He does what he wants, always one step ahead of the rest of us. Whether it's in his nature to travel with disregard because he has tons of energy to burn, or it's a result of his mysterious upbringing, it has a negative effect on his new, loving family.
Named after a powerful Greek god, he is most often referred to now-a-days as the "yellow terrorist" because he is relentless in all of his pursuits. I would be lying if I said that I didn't admire his zeal for life, and his passion for travel... However, his complete and utter disregard for others on his daily adventures comes at the price of his family's well-being.
While some might call him resilient for surviving a hit-a-run, scaling 6-foot fences with ease, and living on his own for who knows how long, I can see that he is still in survival-mode. Never able to rest and relax because there was never time to.
The ADHD brain works fast- double time to the neuro-typical brain- which makes reprogramming it from "survival mode" to "thriving mode" difficult AF...
Which got me thinking... As an ADHD entrepreneur I know that we have to do things differently to be successful in all aspects of our life.
The ADHD brain is relentless as a result of needing to be resilient because we are navigating a world that is designed to make us feel bad about ourselves.
Case and point: LAUNDRY. If you have ADHD you know what I'm talking about.
I have NEVER been able to wash, dry, fold and put away my laundry in one day. Even typing the word "laundry" makes me mad... And I was ALWAYS made to feel bad about my laundry habits by my parents, my friends, or by comparing myself to the unrealistic portrayals of humans in the media.
And when I became a mom, the stress really compounded because-hello- MORE LAUNDRY! I really struggled with getting everything done the way I was "supposed" to- not the way I WANTED to.
Now, as I learn more about how ADHD manifests in Empaths and people that are naturally intuitive, I am committed to doing things differently so I can feel good and be successful AF being authentically me.
Because, here's the thing. ADHD is the lack of dopamine and dopamine RECEPTORS in the brain.
According to google: "Dopamine is responsible for allowing you to feel pleasure, satisfaction and motivation. When you feel good that you have achieved something, it's because you have a surge of dopamine in the brain."
That means that your motivation, satisfaction and pleasure are acquired in an entirely different way than non-ADHD'ers. And with more difficulty- ugh...
So, I have decided and I want you to jump on this bandwagon with me- I am not making my bed unless I feel like it. It doesn't actually matter to me if the bed is made most days...
I am not going to get mad at myself for not folding and putting away my clean laundry anymore. For real, I'm cool with picking my clean clothes out of the laundry basket while I watch the dirty pile grow larger on the floor next to it. *GASP*
From now on, in my life and and in my business, if it's not a "FUCK YES" it's a "FUCK NO."
I simply don't have time for things that aren't going to make me feel good.
When I feel good I am productive and successful. When I try to keep up with standards that are unattainable for my energy-level and don't fit my needs, I burn-out. And as an entrepreneur, I am not doing anyone any favors when I'm burned out- not myself, not my family, and certainly not my bank account!
How do you know what feels good when you have been unwittingly denying yourself for so long by trying to be something you're not?